25

Assalamualaikum and hello.

Alhamdulillah for another year. It has been a tough couple of months, and I am grateful to be back in Brunei, even for a short amount of time. Tbh, I did not plan to go back, although I intended to. Throughout the revision period, I felt home sick and it made me almost cancel my Spain trip and just head back home for the whole 3 weeks. I am glad that I did not cus I really enjoyed it. And that’s when my mom bought me my flight back home :’).

The final years of Medicine was tough, and when I say tough, it was really tough. The kind that made you not be able to sleep peacefully at night every day, and when you eat your meal it tasted so bland that you lost appetite to eat, and the kind that gives you anxiety and panic attacks.

People say that it is during the worst times of your life that you will get to see the true colours of those who care for you, and it is so true. And I am glad to have these people in my life cus at least that’s the most positive thing that I had at that time. I am glad to have those that constantly push me when I feel down and feel like giving up, and kept on reminding me my true purpose. And also, for those that constantly prayed for me, I am forever grateful.

To be honest, going through the finals changed me into someone who overthinks of the uncertainties of my life in general. Usually when I overthink, it does not last very long, but this time, its different. This is defo the first time that I felt unsure of things.

And there are things in my life that happened unexpectedly, and I am somehow grateful for it. There are people that I’ve let go and I am so glad that I did. And there are people that came to my life when I least expect, and I sincerely hope that they will stay.

To the people that I’ve let go, I am glad of the feelings that I’ve had previously and it is not something that I regret. I believe it is a blessing in disguise when I found out that feelings are not reciprocated, as it is best to stay that way. I will always pray for the best.

As for the uncertainties, I can only hope for the best and leave the rest to Him. And hopefully this time “ditto” will be crystal clear, whenever the time may be.

Yours truly,

Nabilah Sofian.

The Joy of Life

Assalamualaikum silent readers :)

“The beginning is always the hardest.”

I live by this quote since the very first day I enrolled to University.

But sometimes, when life gives you lemons, you tend to give up easily (especially with all the pressure).

Exactly 2 months ago, I was in a bad situation.

What actually happened?
Basically, my project commenced at that time and I was juggling with time. (My research was about jaundiced babies, and my supervisor asked me to examine 200 babies).
Imagine, I have to wake up really early in order to do my project at Ripas, and then I have to attend lectures, basically I need to reach Uni before 8.
Ripas again in the afternoon.
During night time, do my project, chores and also Uni work.
I was actually considering to call it quits at that time, because I really had a stressful time.
Never in a million years have I actually cried every morning (literally) because I was so scared of everything.  

I can't go on being 'depressed', so I went to see my Uni supervisor and ask for some advice regarding time management.
Alhamdulillah, I felt like a heavy weight above my shoulder was lifted after seeing her.

As time goes by, I actually managed to sort my time table and began to enjoy doing my research as I can actually produce the results that I wanted. 

It was on my 21^st Birthday that I finally be able to put everything to halt, with a total of 202 babies (which I thought was impossible at first).
Alhamdulillah Ya Allah, I don't think I can do this without Your Help. :')

I believe that God put me into this position because He wants me to learn a thing or two about things.
Throughout my research period, there are certain things that I’ve tried to put into practice:

1. Patience is the KEY to everything, and I mean it.
2. Time is not something that can be bought, utilise it wisely.
3. Be positive all the time.
4. Everything happens for a reason, although we might not know what the reason is.
5.Every test that God gave you, He gave it to you because He knows that you can surpass it.
6. SMILE even when you are in a bad situation.

In order to climb through the mountains,
   there are obstacles that needs to be faced, no matter how long or how hard it could be.
           You will reach your destination for sure, if you stop complaining and just get on with it. 

                    Who knows, it might not take long until you reach the finishing line.

Thats all from me for now,
Till next time, InshaAllah. 

2014, Thanks for the memories.

Still, give thanks to God, 

for He is not a God who does things randomly. 

In every situation, 

He acts accordingly to promote you 

and bring you to a ‘better good.’ 

He does not leave you stuck in your troubles.

— Pam Carbungco, old journal entry

When you finally realize that 

nothing is permanent in this life, 

you will become 

more tolerant, 

more forgiving 

and less judgmental.

— Mufti Ismail Menk

Assalamualaikum silent readers :)

In the Memory of 2014,

A year full of tragedies;

Palestine,

MH370,

MH17,

Peshawar,

QZ 8501,

and many more.

2014 taught us a lot.

About how we shouldn’t take thing (even the smallest one) for granted.

For instance, we never really listened to the stewards/stewardess when they explained about safety. Myself included. One of the reason was because we always knew that air transports are safe.. until MH370 happened and left scars to the whole nation.

Another thing, we always look up to those who live in full luxury, which made us want things more. But we didn’t realise that what we have now is more than enough, when we compared to those in poverty, those at war, and those who weren’t given the rights to receive shelter. We are humans, and humans always want more. Astaghfirullah.

Other than that, we humans always take people for granted. We never know that someday that someone will go Home without saying goodbye. We took “have a safe flight”, “have a safe journey”, “drive safe”, "see you soon!" for granted.  We thought that we will always be safe, but the truth is, it will only happen in God’s permission. As technology develops into something more modern and convenient, we humans often become “arrogant”. We think that we have the power over everything.

Perhaps God allowed these tragedies to happen to knock on everyone’s face that we should repent, to show that no matter how intelligent we are, our knowledge will never be compared to Him.

Wallahua’lambissawab.

Promise ourselves to learn from our mistakes and always be the better version of ourselves every single day.

May Allah forgive us, and may He bless and protect us in 2015. Aamiin.

 
Thats all from me for now,
Till next time, InshaAllah.

 ps: Salam Maulidur Rasul :)

Courtesy and Acceptance

"Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. 

Of course we will hurt each other. 

But this is the very condition of existence. 

To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. 

To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence."

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Manon, Ballerina

Assalamualaikum silent readers :)

People always say things behind your back, no matter what you do. And the most inconvenient time was when you were at the time of sadness (such as death of a family member, etc). These kind of people like to rub salt into the wound. Some of the things they said may be true, but hey, have you ever heard of courtesy?
 
A wise woman once said to me:
"People talk, and yes they are allowed to. They are allowed to talk if what we did was wrong. But, they were being inconsiderate. They already knew that we are in hardship, but they talk anyway. Just be patient. Just take the truth from their sayings,  and forget the bad. We can never refrain them from talking."
  
Another thing, people who tell other people (who is not his/her family member) about family matters. I know that you want people to know your anger, but please, anything that happens inside the house says inside. 

If things like this happens to you, first and foremost, you should remind yourself that someone who gives you advice privately cares about you, but someone who does it publicly just want to humiliate you. Secondly, protect your tongue from saying things that hurt people, because it will leave a mark in their hearts no matter what. And lastly, people have no power over you, so just be patient.


Thats all from me for now,
Till next time, InshaAllah.