1 month of being a Junior Doctor

Assalamualaikum,

First and foremost, I can finally say that I've survived 6- years of medical school.
It felt like a dream. 6 years flew like a breeze.
Fast forward to 6 years post medical school...
Here I am, updating my blog after my 9-5 pm psychiatry job.

To be honest, I was quite nervous when I first started, who doesnt right?
The thing is that psychiatry is different from a medicine or surgery job.
Despite only working 9-5, I felt the job is draining, emotionally and physically.
And the downside of it is that no one will understand how you feel, because everyone else is working at the busy wards, long hours, weekends, oncalls and you only work 9-5 so you dont feel like whining even if you had a bad day, esp if psychiatry is your first job.

It has been manageable so far, but there were days that I felt like breaking down because sometimes the days were too much, be it dealing with difficult patients or feeling annoyed for doing a job that someone else supposed to do.
I stayed back after 5pm a couple of times because I was the only doctor left in the ward and the jobs that I was doing needs to be finished on the day itself.

Sometimes, I honestly feel I am quite slow in finishing my jobs because my mind still doesnt work the way other people do. Even its a 9-5 job, I do feel stressed out sometimes and its more of frustration towards myself thinking I could've done better. Sometimes I found myself comparing myself with my other FY1 colleagues who are currently in medicine or surgery, because they are more "exposed" to the real world and I am just confined in a tiny wards.